Q&A: Do people with bipolar disorder make up lies and have problems staying in relationships?
Wednesday, May 11th, 2011 at
1:46 pm
Question by jgopherjj: Do people with bipolar disorder make up lies and have problems staying in relationships?
My husband is bipolar and his moods seem to be getting worse. I notice that he is deceptive to people and “wants what he wants”. It seemed to worsen about 5 years ago when we had a major trauma in our family that has been resolved, but he shut his feelings down. Some advice would be appreciated. Thanks, Jgopherjj.
My husband is bipolar and his moods seem to be getting worse. I notice that he is deceptive to people and “wants what he wants”. It seemed to worsen about 5 years ago when we had a major trauma in our family that has been resolved, but he shut his feelings down. Some advice would be appreciated. Thanks, Jgopherjj.
Best answer:
Answer by Cher666
I was biopolar for 16 years. I was in relationships that were long term and went well. It was easier when I was stable, but i was honest
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My mother is bi-polar and she lies and has problems staying in all kind of relationships.
I would tell you how to deal but am still figuring that one out myself.
Just don’t leave him (for being bi-polar, I mean), please. My father is leaving my mother she’s just losing it now more than ever.
the answer is yes I have no advice for you though, except make sure he is getting the proper dose of meds.
he is just getting more and more problems, wanting what he wants is part of ocd and lying , well its time to take care of yourself, hes never going to be better.
I am bipolar and been married for almost 10 years, in the beginning it was differant I had other problem to add to the mix and I was not honest with alot of people, after my grandma pass on I kind of lost reality and really did beleive what I was telling people. I was so traumazed that my way to stop the pain was to go into my own little world. Including drugs and alcohal stoped my meds and just started to disapear in a way. Now 10 years later I am sober but sometimes there is a trigger that can just set it all off again, I did not handle the passing of my grandparents well at all. The best way to avoid what is going on out side or inside your head is to shut down,avoid everything and anything that brings it back. Maybe it would help your husband to take theraphy for this and then amybe he might be able to over come what is stopping him from moving on in and out of his head.
I know one person that is married to someone that is bi-polar and one person that is bi-polar and she is married too. I know from talking to both people that when a bi-polar person is not on their meds or the dosage is not right, they become a completely different person. I would probably suggest seeing a psychiatrist who can prescribe medical treatment.
omg yes…i just got outta relationship with my oldest father…he was just wierd though..one min he was fine the next min he was as mean as nails..and he would lie about the most small and pointless things..it hurt me to end it because he wouldnt get the help he needs..but try and be there for him maybe get him some help…u have to think about urself also….i know its hard because im really hurtin right now…but everything will work its self out
Yes, they can. Medication can help most bipolar people. They experience extreme mood swings. Sometimes after they are diagnosed they become extremely self conscious about their illness. Overly sensitive.
Bipolar disorder — also known as manic-depressive illness — affects millions of people each year.
For people with bipolar disorder, life can be an emotional roller coaster. It can have intense highs and crippling lows. But treatments are available to help control these extreme mood swings. Although there is no cure, with proper treatment, people diagnosed with bipolar disorder can live normal lives.
Go to bipolar.com for more information. I hope this helps.
Hell yes, they get worse. My ex has bipolar. At the beginning of our marriage, he had moods swings. He would be ok and then over time he would get onto a high until he would explode. He would then be depressed and sorry and the best husband in the world. This got worse over the years, especially after he got onto the wacky weed. he was a compulsive liar. He would even believe his own lies. He never went onto medication to control his mood swings. Now he is a lonely old man with me and his two daughters having no contact with him, as he has assaulted us all while in a manic mood.
If you want a good relationship with your husband, make sure he receives both medication and psychology to control his moods. People with bipolar have trouble with relationships unless they are medicated for the rest of their lives. Good Luck
I am bipolar. Do I tell lies? Who doesn’t. Being honest around the clock is not easy. But is he telling lies to avoid making other people look bad or is he becoming the sad “pathological” liar.
I had a friend and she was a “pathological” liar. She was a wonderful, beautiful woman. I would call her a good Christian. But she would tell lies –even about things that we shared common knowledge about– I couldn’t believe it. Years later, she had children but as an adult was caught shoplifting. That surprised me since, to me, shoplifting is a rather juvenile thing to do.
Your husband’s “shut down feelings” could be related to the medications he is on. I am on a lot of antidepressants. I no longer cry as I once did.
From what I’ve heard, bipolar folk do not tend to maintain longterm relationships. That must be very sad for their loved ones. The bipolar individual, like all people, needs love –but I guess they are resistant to it for some reason.
I am gay and live with someone that loves me. I don’t see why he does. I don’t see myself as attractive or lovable. But he does, and that helps keep us together. I have cheated on him numerous times, but keep that under wraps. I’m not a good apple, but the thing about being a good apple is that all you can do is throw your hands up, sigh, and say, “I’m not a good apple.”
If these things concern you –lack of love for self and others, lying, possible cheating– this man might not be the one to spend your life with.
Then comes the “bread & butter” issue. How else will you make ends meet?
To answer the question: Sometimes (just like any other people).
To address your situation: Is your husband under the care of a psychiatrist? If not, it is imperative that he establish a good working relationship with a doctor he can fully trust–don’t be afraid to shop around. Sometimes at least two professionals are needed, the psychiatrist to prescribe meds and another person to help the patient live with the condition (e.g. a psychologist) If he is already seeing someone, might you be able to come to one of his appointments? This might be the most constructive way to express your concerns. I suspect the “major trauma” hasn’t actually been resolved since it has had a lasting impact on your husband (and since you bring it up). Psychotherapy and/or homeopathy could be helpful here if he’s receptive. I think the main hurdle with bipolar people is getting them to acknowledge and eventually embrace and learn to work with disorder, but I can’t tell from your posting where in this process your husband might be. Good luck to you both.
I am bi-polar. No, we don’t lie. (on purpose) Maybe we believe what we say so much, it causes us problems. We are sick people and don’t mean any harm. What exactly is he saying that you think he is lying about? The major trauma you speak about may have sent him over the edge. I need more detail to help you.
Email me.
I have Bipolar 7+ yrs. & know about 100 others u want a suggestion, only cure, see a Psychologist or 2, get meds, stay on them, if they don’t work change, they take 3-8 weeks to work completely propoerly, get therapy from a MSW, (Social Worker), or Psychologist. The proven most efficient way for recovery of Bipolar Disorder is Talk Therapy & Medications. If you dont believe me you can read the same reputable publications I did, e.g. New England Journal of Medicine, JAMA. It worked for me & many other people I attended support group meetngs with. Oh yeah Support group meetings are essential so you can realize that ur not the only one even though it is totally irrational to think that ur the only one but 99%- 100% think they are the only one ’til they go to support group meetings, then you hear a lot of this, ” yeah? me too!” “yeah, I take that med also, does it work for you, does it give you that same side effect?”, “Oh Yeah!, Me too” If I only had a dime for every time I’ve heard any one of those phrases, I’d be living in Hawaii, Oh! Wait! I do live in Hawaii! & I did make $ 50,000/yr. …It can happen to anyone. I had 2 Attorneys in my support group. Hang in there. Educate urself. NAMI, & other Mental Health Organizations have all the info u need. Aloha ! From Hawaii! Good Luck.
http://www.psycheducation.org/
http://www.psycheducation.org/
The issue of being “bipolar” has nothing to do with one’s capacity, or lack thereof, for honesty. Nor does it cause a selfish, self-centerdness attitude that “wants what one wants” like that of a spoiled child. These are both other emotional/psychological issues which need to be dealt with. As to what is causing these to occur could be from how he has dealt with, or how others have dealt with him, in the past (either due to being bipolar or not) or, perhaps, to something new that has developed or caused a change recently. Ultimately these concerns need to be dealt with if you want your relationship to survive. In order to do this you are going to need some professional help either from your doctor or from some form of counseling (both preferably). One word of caution though. Do not rely on a doctor that wants to merely throw drugs at the problem. Many cases of these disorders can be resolved through proper nutrition, hormone replacement, allergy screening, and other similar methods. Drugs will create a downward spiral requiring increased dosages, changes to new meds when the old become ineffective or when the side effects of the former drug need to be treated, as well as the continual cooperation of the patient (who is only having symptoms masked not the cause corrected).
i am bi polar but I’m also borderline personality disorder. i think the personality disorder is worse for the relationships. i really don’t mean to lie about things but at times it seems like i am. i mostly “lie” about the way i feel because what im feeling at one time might not be what im feeling later. i was with someone who was bi polar too. what you cant let him do is lie about things just because he is a liar and blame it on his illness. like if he is lying about things to stay out of trouble or because he is afraid that you’ll get mad and then you catch him don’t let him use his bi polar as an excuse because he is just doing what almost every man does. don’t let him get away with that sh!t
it depends on the person really. ive known bipolar people, some have been very deceptive and had trouble staying in relationships for more than 2 seconds. but others seem ok
Bipolar people are impulsive and engage in all sorts of reckless behaviors but I don’t think that lying is a definite symptom. I think that’s more of a man thing….lol
Sounds more like boarderline personality disorder.