Relationships Problems?

by Joost J. Bakker IJmuiden

Question by CrownMeDuh: Relationships Problems?
When I was younger I got started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I was drinking and smoking and skipping school. But then one day I just really didn’t want to do anymore of that negative stuff I was doing anymore. So I started to slowly drop out of that group but in the group I had 3 best friends. I knew for a fact that 1 of them wouldn’t stop drinking and smoking and doing bad things so I talk to the other to girls and just had a heart to heart with them and they understood where I was coming from. So we all stop doing all that bad and negative stuff. Started doing different things, stop hanging around in those bad spots, stop talking to those people that was really not doing what we were doing. My boyfriend at the time told me to drop EVERYONE even the ones that were changing because they still got me into it and they aren’t good for me. But I didn’t feel the same especially since we wasn’t drinking or smoking or doing anything we was doing from the past. So this been a huge issue in our relationship because I felt I did a good thing by helping myself and helping my friends out of the negative situation. But he says I don’t understand and I should drop them still because they are from the past. I don’t know what to do..
a lot of people tell me that its the signs of a controlling relationship…but he just says that he cares a lot…

Best answer:

Answer by Anne
You obviously don’t want to “drop” your friends. Especially when they are best friends, this means you guys have a history together, and as friends will grow together.
You did do a good thing, I’m sure your bf thinks so too. You just need to explain to him that you care for these people, that you trust them and of cource, that you have your own mind, that can make itself up. Just as YOU chose to do the drugs and YOU chose to quit. right?
Most would say that this is the first sign of a controlling relationship.
I am going to give this guy the benifit of the doubt, and say that you need to have a heart to heart with him. Explain that you don’t want to drop your friends, that you look forward to CONTINUING to grow with them in the future. That although your friends made some bad choices WITH you, they also made a good one with you to. Which to me….shows a true friend. One that should NOT be dropped.
Good luck!
I

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